Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says 'You don't know
Jack Schitt'. Read on and you will be able to handle the situation
Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and Oh Schitt. Awe
Schitt, the fertiliser magnate, married Oh Schitt, a partner
of Kneedeep and Schitt Incorporated. Jack Schitt
married Noe Schitt, and the deeply religous couple begat 6
children - Holie, Fulla, Giva, Bull and the twins Deap and
Dip. Against their parents wishes, Deap Schitt married
Dumb Schitt, a high school drop-out.
After 15 years of marriage, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced.
Noe Schitt later married a Mr Sherlock, and out of devotion
to her children, decided to hyphenate her name and became
Dip Schitt married a woman named Loda Dung, who became, you
guessed it, Loda Schitt. The couple produced a nervous
son, Chicken . . .
Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, inseparable throughout childhood,
subsequently married the Happens brothers. The local paper announced
the Schitt-Happens wedding, which was quite an event. The Schitt-Happens
gave birth to 3 children, Dawg, Byrd and Hoarse.
Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world.
He returned from his travels with his Italian bride, Piza
So, NOW if someone says 'You don't know Jack Schitt', you
can beg to differ. Not only do you know Jack, but the
entire Schitt family.