crusty old battleship admiral died and found himself
standing before Saint Peter at the pearly gates. Peter
welcomed him warmly, "Come right in,
Admiral - you've served your country well and you may enter
The Admiral looked thru the
gates and stepped up to Saint Peter,
"Just one thing, sonny. I hope there are no Chiefs here.
They are the rudest, most obnoxious variety of human ever,
and if there are any of them here, I'm not going in; I'd
rather go to the other place."
"Don't worry, Admiral," said
Saint Peter. "No Chief has ever made
it into Heaven. You'll find none of 'em here."
So, the Admiral goes on into Heaven. Moments later, he comes
upon an amazing sight. It is a swaggering figure in khakis,
garrison cap cocked slightly on his head, a mostly empty
bottle of Jack Daniels in one hand, and a beautiful woman on
either arm. Incensed, the Admiral rushes back to Saint Peter
and gets in his face. "Hey! You said
there were no Chiefs here! So what the hell is THAT?!?"
"Don't worry, Admiral," says
Saint Peter gently. "That's God. He
just THINKS he's a Chief."